Brazilian days

Calm day to everyone..
today I am really tired, therefore I gave up to coffee and let down my deep thoughts for a few hours.... yep I had the longest night of my experience in Rio... Worked, Eaten (only a bowl of noodles), played volleyball 2 hours and met new people far from where I usually stay..
I´ve seen a typical Samba party , and lived inside it for a moment.. breathtaking girls with unique expressions and ways to be beatiful; I think that three really young and alive women took my eyes for more than once, one for her skin, mulatto, the kind of original negritude that knoks me off all the times.. the mistery of a sandy, unconsciously wise and mother-nature looking delicate skin. The appeal of it calls your eyes many times and you get lost walking in that desert full of new experience..
another one was simply dancing like not many others could, a free spirit, maybe on drugs, troublemaker and destructive evil, all in her ferocious belly dance... natural curly hair folding down and following the path, the wind of her movements.. the most dangerous love you can ever encounter.
at last the most beatiful one, a unique looking girl, with a strange but totally blowing face, big eyes, not enough breath to understand the colour, but maybe green and a bit darky, able to understand only the joy and passion of her glance, .. not looking at me, looking at everyone, facing reality with the most ironic behaviour, dancing in a funny but passionate way to destroy the buildings of society. All expressed largely by her enormously immersive smile, more like a permanent laughter stuck in her face, the resemblance of careless happiness.  But afterall I am an old soul, you could say, I am thoughtful and introspective, so I find myself more suitable for a calm more true destined love, other than an instinctive action approaching a stranger, still of course true, but not entirely for me. I am practising it and I would have liked to go straight dancing at that awesome girl, playing an instrument , smiling and exchanging instinctive movements. I could tell, as a true observer of the life around me, that she was like this: she gave a lot of herself out , popping form her eyes and rainbowing out of her mouth forming unique lines on her skin; she likes to communicate with happy and sometimes aloud words, but she was not easy, at giving away her most precious energy to guys, like the other girls. But if I actually had followed my guts and got in front of her, I would have sasid something deep such: "Olá , Muito prazer, I am truly a total extrem of you, but you are the most beatiful woman in this place, ecc, nice meeting you". yep , not possible in a party such that one: I will learn how to be different, maybe not myself but crazier outside, instinctive, able to dance passionate samba and meet new girls anytime, I guess.
With this background in my mind I came across a cool article by "Lonewolfer, apparently an old soul talented at writing wise thoughts. And I am getting closer to the breaking point, which does not let me change/mischange/get spoiled too much or at least not at certain extrems. I have always been shy as kid and I found myself getting angry, at first, when I started searching for my protected soul, when I was seeking the truth about society and finding scandalous conspiracy stuff. As a teenager, I wasn´t much young because all those feelings kept any big reaction inside obtaining always more informations and not losing the helm.  I was too alcoholic, until I crushed my face and teeth into the concrete: the best lesson ever. Thought once again about the teachings and advices of my mother and started having fun without denials. Met a misterious mulatto girl, a real problematic one, a perfect one, loved her deeply, lost virginity, never doubted anything even though I knew the end of that story at the beginning of itself. My extreme half teaching me a lot, destroying my old dull self, to a new atmosphere, after some struggle.. I never got to tell her, because I was always lost in her eyes, colour infinite black, that she was the first one I ever focused my glanced at that much. Learnt how to see and perceive other eyes, through the aknowledge of a instinctively natural sister, ex friend of the girl I just shared my thoughts of. After that I could find that magic glance in many persons, the most enlightened ones, truly part of my destined editable actions. I became independent, at least in my head: no drugs, no stupid parties of which I do not like the music, no fake stuff, only me.
Calm thinker, observer, silenced lover of the silence and casual logger of the most chaotic or "totally different from me" moments and at times writer, or a poet if it is a more raw way to say it. The fact is life is a cycle and it circles around you if you wih so: and especially now, more of the oyher "nows and heres", is a puzzle of moments, actions and meetings that will probably change my life deeply.

Masacarne